November had been a gadawful time–while I really didn’t have one huge project at work I had been juggling what felt like 10,000 little deadlines–I can’t tell which is more taxing, truth be told. But more than the work itself, the past month has been marked by how totally exhausted I was. An exhaustion which panicked the planner slash OC…
No matter the state of my affairs, be it sheer exhaustion or drunken happiness or indescribable ennui, it seems that sleep eludes. Ten years ago it had been most prob’ly from those dvd marathons we’ve had, watching Six Feet Under and Sopranos…not stopping until those damn Dao chickens made a ruckus to announce that morning was coming. Then five years…
Six vials of blood for testing — that was how much they took away from me the other day. I figured ’twas the reason behind the headache that manifested itself shortly thereafter, but two days after, the pounding lingers still. Perhaps I should eat a chunkful of protein goodness to drive it away. And maybe I will, when I finally…
I feel like going off the grid sometime and, just be. How I fancy the thought of disappearing from all these, to be in the midst of strangers, where I’d be alone but not really, to forget must-dos and deadlines, to have no control of things and just go go go with the flow, to be me but not really,…
I remember writing before about how I’m ever so ready to stoke that rumble deep in me. I am fearless, I am brave, I can take on anything. Well, I kinda lied. See, I now realize that I may have lived in fear half the time. There were so many instances where I tread a foot at time, held my breath,…
Sleep, as some of the other things in my life, has escaped me again last night. Blame it on the coffee, which I took because I wanted to finish some serious work. I did, I was serious about it. But my bed called me—it played some wayward tune and couldn’t ignore its teasing. Oh no, I’m gonna give in! So…
So it’s been 14 months since I’ve been…diagnosed with CKD. It stands for chronic kidney disease, the end stage of which sounds even more terrifying: chronic renal failure. The first word alone, means never-ending; renal just doesn’t sound right, like it’s not a real word at all; and, failure just spells catastrophe. And as much as I now talk about…
It has been a few weeks since I’ve started on this doctor-imposed diet of reduced protein and salt. The general rule is just merciless: no pork, no beef, no chicken, no seafood, no cheese, no milk, no potatoes, no bread, no bananas. And let’s not forget the happiest part of it all: no taste at all. During the first few…
Finally Dee 