It’s the middle of June and under normal circumstances, it would have been a great time to look back at the year so far. See, at work, this month marks the end of our business year, and so, at this time, we would’ve been wrapping up projects, planning out new ones, finalizing yearend reports, celebrating victories. What a sweet time it would’ve been to be there. Not that we’re not doing any of those because yes we had been; life had to go on.
And yet, here we are.
I guess I can only echo what every other person probably feels: It’s been 460 days since we’ve had the normalcy of life, work, leisure, fam, friends. On most days, we learned to, at best, cope. There’s really nothing to it, I guess. Just push, move forward, don’t think too much, plod on, plod on. We go through the motions of waking up to hopeful mornings, with coffee or smoothie or eggs that would somehow get us through lunch, dealing with chores and errands and must-dos before getting ready to earn our keep, and then at the end of a grueling day, no less stressful than it had been a year and half ago, prepare for the long evening hours of wondering where our lives are headed.
Those are the good days, mind you. And then there are the bad ones. Perhaps we need these days too as well, just to balance it out. On these days, we stare at walls because not one fiber of our being can. Or else leave a pile of dirty dishes on the sink because screw it we can just order in. Or just turn up the A/C and sink on our glorious beds, perhaps mindlessly clicking on that show on Netflix, rewinding a lil bit from where we fell off last night. These are the days when we can’t even think where our lives are headed.
I mean, when this thing started, I guess I had this sense of fear about this disease. But now, that fear, or maybe that feeling of uncertainty, has increased tenfold. I wonder, how can we heal from this? How do we move from this? Do we just wake up one day and suddenly have everything same as before? I know it won’t be as easy. How do we collectively move on, eh? It feels so hard, I know, like we’re being dragged through this never-ending situation and the end is yet to be on sight.
So maybe we’ll start back slow. Maybe we can begin by being kinder to ourselves, gentler. So I say, it’s ok. To sleep in, to spend a little, to watch some more, to drink another, to take it easy, to lovingly mind our plants, prettify our meals, to indulge in our hobby. It’s ok to plow through weekdays but then savor our weekends. The end is yet to be on sight, but I think I will begin with these.
So yeah, that’s how it’s been. Oh and if you’re reading this, say hi back, it would be great, if you can.
Finally Dee 