It’s Maundy Thursday, and our neighborhood is silent. Well, there’s the occasional vehicle cruising by but the only thing I hear is my next door neighbor’s half open front door squeaking from the breeze. Browsing through my social media shiz and seeing everyone leave for the long weekend, it feels kinda lonely, in a way. And though I’ve had friends message me to hang out with them today, I skipped the company and decided to stay in. It’s Holy Week anyways and maybe another introspection is in order.
Is it crazy I say hello to my place every time I get home and also say I love you every time I leave? Lately I’ve been enjoying my space too much, I guess — and space I now do have. Since the year kicked off, I’ve been trying to live a less cluttered life. And after sorting through all my stuff and freeing myself of the awful memories they bring and discarding what I’m guessing would be around 20 big garbage bags of shit, I realize I’ve fallen more in love with my apartment.
I’ve found a spot for most of my things, giving each one a place, its own home. I’ve cleared countertops of my knickknacks, my collections, my eye candy and only kept those that I use regularly. My apartment is cleaner than it’s ever been, uncluttered, and these days, I tidy quicker because there’s fewer items to dust. I’ve never felt more at home, in a place I’ve dreamed of having for most of my adult life.
I’ve been sitting here on my living room floor for a while, barefoot, full from my takeaway dinner, wondering how I can begin describing where I am right now. To finally have some semblance of acceptance for my life. In the midst of what little I own, yet feel ok. Today, I thought I’d be having the most boring day yet, but here I am, feeling ok. It’s good to be in my now, I’ve to say.
Today turned out to be a good staycation if I can call it one. I spent the whole afternoon tinkering about my place, having it clean made me look for long-forgotten projects that I’ve always wanted to do. And I’ve done a lot! I’ve browsed thru my postcard collection — the only souvenir I ask of fam and friends when they’re traveling. I wrapped some of my books with gift wrapping paper to match my decor; yes, laugh all you want but hey I had time. I learned to play Dream A Little Dream on my uke. I made two batches of smoothies. I finished another Big Bad Wolf purchase, a book about, well, loving life with less. I finished Friends season eight. I watched half a dozen YouTube tutorials. I practiced calligraphy. And now, I’m writing this…
Some friends are over in Bali, Tokyo, Seoul; my fam is in Boracay and while I’m a tad jealous that everyone seems to be away, I thoroughly enjoyed my day today. I look at my list of wants for my home and realize there are only one or two things left to buy…and frankly I can probably live without them. Home felt home today, and today, I’ve fallen in love with it again.
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Pictured: Voodoo Wabbit, enjoying the bed
Finally Dee 