I feel like going off the grid sometime and, just be. How I fancy the thought of disappearing from all these, to be in the midst of strangers, where I’d be alone but not really, to forget must-dos and deadlines, to have no control of things and just go go go with the flow, to be me but not really, perhaps forget who I am if only for a lit-tle while, pretend I am some girl who can afford to take exotic vacations but not really, to just get lost because heck I already am.
And that day when I’d feel lost would be just the right kind of day to be so: with weather quite cooperative at my side of the world, a lovely breeze would be ever so present during a mid-afternoon stroll, the sun hitting the paved walkways just so, bright oh ever so bright, that from where I walk from amongst dem shadowy trees it should give way to my usual wistful, it-hit-me-outta-blue yearnings.
And what a longing it’ll be! It will a somersault of emotions for all things that are wonderful, when life was wonderful. The sweetness of those melon ice popsicles from my childhood summers. The lilt of Papa’s voice on those days when he played the guitar. The thrill of a midnight joyride at a time when I really oughta have been going home. The day Bonita broke that Ovaltine jar. The giddiness from my first love’s kiss. The satisfaction of purchasing a li’l something from my first paycheck. The utter joy of hugging my firstborn. That night in Serendra at Den’s when we talked about our dreams. Oh yes I long for the simplest pleasures of life when, really, things have been far less complex.
I must get off the grid sometime and, just be. So I can take a break from playing adult for a while. Retrace my steps, find myself. I am positive she’s in here there somewhere. I must set out to rediscover who I was, am, will be, and regain what was once mine. Unravel me so that I can find the root of all these; a step at a time, all in good time.
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Pictured: Poinsettias at Tagaytay Highlands
Finally Dee 