(Yep, in a way inspired by Haim).
***
My life is on a plateau; well, at least, that’s what two of my good friends have determined in one of our recent pseudo-intellectual Friday night drinking binges. Somewhere between my Cheesy Croquettes With Mustard Sour Cream and their Lychee Margaritas, I posited the dang question that led to the eventual judgment on my state of affairs: oh dear, where has my life gone?
My mistake, articulating this to Laurie, because if there was one person who can unweave a mess of a yarn so that I could lay it end to end out there in the open, then Laurie IS the one. Trust the research analyst to trace an outline of how, from her view, I’ve managed to plod up this mountain of a life, only to reach not the summit, but…there, she spelled it out: a plateau.
The analysis, I must say, is spot on. It does correspond to the seeming boredom I am in right now and describes the way I view things from where I sit. Where everything is just flat at the moment. Where I am with the in-betweeners, neither here nor there. Where the only exciting thing we feel can help us ride it out is to buy a kick-ass digital TV and watch movie after movie for the next year or so. Where there’s no goal post nor milestone, no rhyme nor reason, no hype nor depression, no worries nor hurries. Just a fucking flat vastness of nothingness. Thanks a lot, friends, for coining the word for how I feel.
After that particular Friday night, I chewed and chewed on the word, and found it rather difficult to dispel the nagging thought that perhaps I should just accept, embrace this new me: you know…the one who’s gonna sit in front of a humongous internet TV, awaiting the next episode of Adult Wednesday Addams. The idea kinda grows on me, it seems a reasonable enough way to pass time, and — what with the way I’ve been missing out on all of these great shows of late — it should be a good way to spend my hard earned monies.
But the thing is, I don’t do so well when I am bored. Heck, I have great respect for those who can pull it off, like one of our other gfs, Sarah, who claims she’s so good at being bored she’s prob’ly partying in bed inside her head while she preps for her comeback from her extended leave. But ennui and Dee? Sorry, we’s simply do not go together.
So…mayhaps this is just one of those not-so-purrty phases of mine, when I simply must await the break of dawn, because gad this night has been awful long. Tossing and turning in bed, check. Picking up new game on phone, yep. Alternately reading three book titles, almost done. Chat view browse, been there. Writing down thoughts, oye baby. But…tomorrow’s another day. What else is there to do, Dee? Go to another workshop. Groove to the music. Grab a mic and sing your lungs out. Get a skateboard. Go see Bridge. Get tanned. Gym. Guitar. Gosh. Just move yer fucking ass because…plateau.
Oh, mam-mey, we cannot be plateau.
From where I stand, I see a pass up another mountain. So sorry, Laurie, Imma have prove you wrong: this bitch ain’t no plateau; I think you know me well enough to tell I’m not scared of climbing dem heights.
***
Pictured: Mural at BGC
Finally Dee 